sleepless night

posted: 072609

it’s nearly dawn and i’m still awake.

i can’t even sleep or i just don’t want to try.
my head is spinning, but my brain is blurred.
my eyes are tired but don’t want to rest.
my body is aching from an unergonomic position.
my fingers are fast typing, but can’t seem to complete a sentence -every now and then, i have to use ‘backspace’.

half of the world is asleep, half is wide awake.
I belong to the latter.

i’m in an unlit room, with my sister and niece -sleeping.

i went online 4 hours ago and had someone to talk to.
even to the least expected person (Alen), i opened up myself.. just to burst out what’s inside of me.
i don’t care now what she’ll think.
at least, i made my burden lighter than heavy.

i can now hear the nearby roosters greeting the world, and i would want to envy them for greeting every new mornings with the only language (sound) they can.

what the hell am i writing?
does it make sense?
well, i don’t think so..

this day, or should i say yesterday,
wasn’t a GREAT day.
good as I can describe it though.
the hell with yesterday, it has passed.
no more repeat.

somehow, i felt happiness though.
i met this bunch of freshmen students, and they made me miss my college friends.
how they cared for my cousin, Marga, is totally brotherly.

i talked to God, for i’ve attended the mass at De La Salle instead of wasting my time inside the Centrum, watching amateur performances of JPIAns (Junior Philippine Institute of Accountants- which Marga is a part of) of La Salle, It was kinda boring but don’t get me wrong, i indeed enjoyed some parts of the program.

I spent the last stretch of the night with my friends, She’e, Kim and Jeka at the nearby parlor (Hair Blossoms). and ooooppppsss, a stroll with Paul along Makalintal Avenue.

However, I thought my day would be just fine.
oh no..
i got pissed off.
i’ve been treated invisible!
i don’t deserve that treatment and neither my friends.
i kept calm and composed.
i didn’t even try to act different.

am i unnoticed?
i guess NOT!
i believe you noticed me, he just simply IGNORED me.

i’m pissed off, really.
i can’t seem to hate that person.
although probably he deserved to be.

twelve midnight.
we called it a night, and we’re gone on our separate ways.
thanks to Paul for bringing me home.

i saw the laptop.
opened it.
and until now, i’m using it.
time check - 4:40am.

facebook.
friendster.
yahoo messenger.
multiply.
tumblr.
blogger.

i received a few-minute-call from the snob (W9z).

i spent hours and hours surfing the net.
and a chat with Ando.
Ando understands me.
He’s always been there, having time to listen to things that bothers me.
and i did tell him how my day was.

However, he gave me disappointment this time.
He confessed about a certain event in his life, which i did not know until a while ago.
hmmmmm.
the truth set him free.
he never lied to me, he just didn’t tell me sooner than it should be.
for the benefit of the doubt, i forgave him.
i’ve told him all the things i want to say.
all those hurtful words, but it was nothing compared to the feeling of being betrayed.
and i know, he understood.
that betrayal is through.
our friendship stays strong.

does this entry makes sense now?

aryt. lemme finish this.
as I’ve said, my brain is blurred and I can’t think clear.
maybe due to the things that happened or due to hang over.
eitherway, i’m having a writer’s block!
(kaya magulo ang entry na ‘to!)

oh well,
’til i post another again.

“good morning Philippines!”

time check again -5:12AM

i’ll be turning the laptop off before it gets too hot.
and after i published this.

so long..

-jamittle-

072609