i just hope.. it's real..

I am totally hooked with Tamia’s song entitled, “This Time It’s Love”. Check it out!

Funny, I’ve always been inlove with the idea of being inlove with someone, but I’ve never been into a serious relationship. Of course, I’ve always been sooo serious when it comes to loving someone, unfortunately, those people I loved never seem to care about my feelings and just left me hanging! Thank you people! That’s sooo nice of you!

Enough of those sarcastic comments, I am writing this entry to tell the world how confused I am right now!

Confused, because I feel like caring for this certain person, who I intend to ignore for the longest time.. He’s totally not my type of guy. I swear! But, there’s this thought that made me change the way I treat him.

WTH! I told myself before, I’ll never be with him! I only see his bad image, he being the bully guy back when we were just kids.

But… I don’t dislike him either. We’re friends though. We’ve been on same drinking sessions and even same peer group. But the least I can offer him is a friendship, no more.. no less.

But that was before. I just realized that..

• Regardless of what he is, nothing changed that much except now he’s a hardcore basketball player (making the girls shout for him.. GO!), yet he stayed nice to me after being the snob type of girl to him.
• Despite my not-so-good treatment and the not-so-much (but many) turned downs I gave him, he’ still there.
• Although, he’s not so consistent as there are months of dormancy, he still find his way to show me how much he cares for me.
• After having a “commitment” with others, he still like to be one of them.

I actually took him for granted! My bad! I know.. I am sooo mean to him. I kept looking for others to give my ♥ , while he’s just there looking over me.

He’s always been there, just waiting.. and waiting for the time I’ll notice him.

That time has come.. I didn’t expect this to happen, and I never wanted this to happen either! Oh what can I do?! I’ve been hooked!

Now, I am confused. Am I doing the right thing? What if I just end up hurting him again? I can’t afford to cause him much pain than what I did before. I would never want to waste our friendship.

Gawd! I know he’s a good man. I know he can be what I expect him to be, but still there are doubts running through my mind. So many “what-ifs”!

My decision? I’ll be taking chances. I’ll be risking our friendship. I just hope.. this time, he’ll be deserving.. I hope, it’s worth his waiting..

I hope.. this time it’s love.

-jamittle-

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