I was caught staring at my past, present and future all at once. The dare is for them to grab a hold of me. What's sad is that they've chosen to hold something else instead of me. So what's the point of me, choosing between them as well?
How can I entrust my heart to anyone of them, when I already know that they’ll only let it go? How can I be cared for when all I can see are those hands trying to grab nameless flowers?
From the very start, I didn’t expect my past to run forward and catch up. My past has passed. He’s now living as another’s present.
The only one I expected to grab the moment is my present. But like my past, I’ve never seen any intentions of saving me from the fall. After all the words he has spoken, it all flashed right through my mind. I thought there’ll be reciprocal actions. I was then, wrong! That very moment, I was looking beyond what I’ve seen and concluded that actions are way louder than those sweet spoken words.
How about my future? He represents the things I would actually expect in life. But then, he’s given me the idea that my future would never be different at all. And that, it’s just the same path I’m taking.
My past, my present and my future… They don’t differ!
Realizations came after that very incident. I found myself at the crossroads. I began to think if I should continue living with the present or let it be another past?
Here, in this crossroads, I will decide whether to take the same path where I can only guess that all that happened repeats itself. Or I will take a road less travelled? The road in which I don’t exactly know what is at stake. If I take a new path, I would never know if it will lead me again to the future I’m pertaining to. Otherwise, there’ll be someone new.
Just the way the author – Robert Frost took a less travelled road and that has made all the difference. I’ll take the risk of walking through a new path. This journey will surprise me of the things not long known to me but somehow, I can say, would bring a difference in my life.
I’ll expect nothing but to meet a new future. A future not planned but is destined for me. It is my fate that will bring me to someone real and right.
But when can I have the strength to let go of my present and find my new future? `Cause by now, my heart is still stronger than my will.
-jamittle-
09/30/09
